Welcome to baking, where the dough is sticky, the starter is emotional, and the rules are made of vibes.
Every beginner sourdough baker enters the craft with hope in their heart and flour on their sweater.
Within 48 hours, they’re Googling
“why does my dough look like porridge”
and
“is crying normal in sourdough.”
Fear not.
Every chaotic mistake you make is part of the process — and honestly?
It’s tradition.
Let’s expose the most iconic beginner disasters, with love.
1. The “I Forgot My Dough” Incident
You mixed your dough, gently covered it, whispered a blessing… and then simply forgot it existed.
You return to find:
an over-inflated balloon creature
dough spilling over the bowl
the distant sound of laughter from the gluten gods
Fix:
Punch it down, reshape it, act like nothing happened.
Bread forgives.
2. The Hydration Horror
You saw a pretty loaf online and thought:
“I should make 90% hydration dough for my first loaf!”
Now your hands are coated.
Your counter is a slip-and-slide.
Your self-esteem is melting.
Fix:
Drop the water.
Start simple.
Save the slime monster dough for future you.
3. You Cut Into the Loaf WAY Too Soon
The loaf is singing its beautiful “crackle-crackle” cooling song…
and you?
You absolutely cannot wait.
You slice it open.
Steam shoots out.
The crumb gets gummy.
Regret enters the chat.
Fix:
Wait 60–120 minutes.
Or don’t — just enjoy warm bread and accept the consequences.
4. The “My Starter Smells Weird, Should I Call Someone?” Panic
New starters smell funky.
Old starters smell funky.
Starters just… smell funky.
You lean over the jar like a detective sniffing evidence, convinced it’s rotten yogurt mixed with fear.
Fix:
If it’s not mold, it’s fine.
Feed it.
Love it.
Stop overthinking its vibe.
5. “There Are Bubbles… BUT ARE THEY THE RIGHT BUBBLES?”
Beginners scrutinize their starter like it’s a newborn.
Every bubble is a crisis.
Every rise is a test.
Fix:
If it rises and smells tangy, it’s alive.
Relax, Sherlock.
6. The Cold Kitchen Crisis
Your dough refuses to rise.
It’s cold.
You’re cold.
The universe feels cold.
Fix:
Warm spot. Blanket.
Oven light.
Cup of hot water nearby.
Don’t blame yourself — blame Canada.
7. The Dough-Shaped Crime Scene
your hair
your elbows
the dog?
Dough on:
the microwave handle
somehow the ceiling
You don’t know how it happened.
But it happened.
Fix:
Bench scraper + cold water.
And a little therapy.
8. The Over-Confident Scoring Disaster
You saw a beautiful leaf scoring pattern online and thought:
“I can do that.”
What you got was:
one too-shallow cut
one too-deep cut
and a loaf that exploded sideways like a volcanic lasagna.
Fix:
One confident slash.
Then add the art later.
9. You Followed the Clock, Not the Dough
The recipe said 4 hours.
So you trusted it.
But your dough?
It said, “I will not be rising today, thanks.”
Fix:
Time is a suggestion.
Dough is the boss.
10. You Thought Your Dough Was Ruined (But It Really Wasn’t)
This is the most common mistake of all.
You think:
it’s too sticky
it’s too dense
it’s too slow
it’s too ugly
it’s too dramatic
But sourdough is shockingly forgiving.
Fix:
Bake it anyway.
Ugly loaves taste EXACTLY like pretty loaves.
Sourdough isn’t a test you pass.
It’s a creature you learn.
It’s moody, messy, unpredictable — and so are we.
Your mistakes aren’t failures.
They’re stories.
They’re lessons.
They’re the fingerprints of becoming a baker.
And besides… every chaotic loaf is still bread.
And bread is never a mistake.
The Wild Crumb 
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